The Joke/Funny videosThread

[rrplay]

good one slugo !
how about a road trip to Intel

[fourpixel]

My videos on some contest that I joined this past few months

have fun!

[rrplay]

pretty creative stuff fourpixel sorta liked see ya getting zapped a time or 2 lol

[slugbug]

Funny TV commercial from a Canadian real estate website: http://www.howrealtorshelp.ca/#video-do-it-yourself

[bob2701]

THE AMAZING BODY !!!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.

The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste .
   
Women
will be finished reading this by now.         
 
Men
are still busy checking their thumbs.

[slugbug]

MSI just posted this video on their YouTube Channel. Something big coming on 8-28

[BackDraft]

A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by himself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom.

She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, "Jervis, I want you to take off my dress." This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair. "Jervis," she continued, "now take off my stockings and garter belt." Again, Jervis silently obeyed. "Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties." Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them. She looked sternly at him and said, "Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!"

[BackDraft]

A couple of drinkin' buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan; it's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"

The other one says, "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and that it will kinda give you a buzz."

So they drink it, get smashed and have a great time; like only drinkin' buddies can do. The following morning, one of them gets up and is surprised he feels good, in fact, he feels great - NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy.

The buddy says, "Hey, how do you feel?"

He said, "I feel great!!", and the buddy says, "I feel great too!! You don't have a hangover?" and he says, "No -that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often."

"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing....."

"What's that?"

"Did you fart yet?"

"No"

"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!"

[BackDraft]

Mr. White, the biology professor, at a posh suburban girl's school, asked during class, "Miss Smith, would you name the organ in the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and define the conditions." Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily, "Mr. White, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that my parents will hear of this." With that, she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the same question. Miss Jones, with complete composure replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Mr. White. "Now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you: one, you have not studied your lessons. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

[slugbug]

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked
for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.


During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex. These holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
To keep their mouths shut.